Where have you gone, you are not the real you. Where you once dreamed of great adventures, great fame and fortune. You have now lost it all, where has it gone, you didn’t even pass it on, it has disappeared. You have seemed to settle, going day by day and putting up with the mundane. It seems as if you are just doing what you know and are safe with to get by. You are living your life as it will never end. In a job you dislike, whinging and bitching but not making a change for the better. You are a body that is present but a mind that is not. You are not helping yourself by just being, you have to be doing. What are you doing? Nothing thats what. Welcome to the world of average people. That’s all that you are, average. Not what you dreamt or ever wanted hey…
I think I have found a little of what has always been holding me back….my group of friends. For too long I have been friends with people who are very opposite to me. Different goals, values, enjoyment. People that you can get along with but get very stale quickly. I was so entrenched in this world though that it took so long to realise. They are close minded people who day in day out follow the same routine. Every time we caught up would be the same activities that for me carried less and less enjoyment each time.
After realising the issue, I am now surrounding myself with people more conversing. Through different environments and situations in life we find meet new people and I was lucky enough to find these people at work. The amazing thing is that the people I think of now as close are all so different and yet so compatible. They are free spirited and open minded. They have had great life experiences that I have yet to enjoy. They are thoughtful, mannered, caring and selfless. They are totally opposite to others that I previously hung around with.
With my new group of friends I can feel an equal. We can dine out together, have a few drinks, relax and just enjoy each others company. I feel inspired to succeed and experience more, to change myself for the better and not be held back.
I thank these people so very much, because they are so special to me. Loves
The feeling of hate drips from my eyes
A life without worth no matter how i try
The comfort of depression so freezing cold
Holding an empty glass that once held hope
A puzzled mind that’s full of fear
Restless inside with no sight of the clear
Nothing more can pull me apart
For it has truly eliminated her heart
I wonder, not for the first time
Where has the joy gone where all was fine
What else can I now do, I cant hide
From the stranger that lies deep inside
Reaching out to pull me down
Under I go again, but never to drown
To struggle each day, life’s empty fight
Grabbing hold of me with effortless might
No one wins, we all just lose
It doesn’t matter which path you choose
Truth are lies, lies are truth
What lies at the end of this rotten noose
For me to love, I need to be my own friend
But that is not possible, please let it end
I stand at the edge of the forest. It’s dark, cold and windy. Animals growl and scamper around, while birds circle and squak, waiting for the next corpse to feed on. This is my forest, my forest of fear.
Every fear and worry I have is in front of me, waiting for me to pass through and hand me a consequence. But how do I enter such a place, knowing what may be ahead.
As I breathe the damp air corrodes my lungs and leaves me with no breath, a metallic taste sticks to my tongue. It hits my full naked body and goosebumps instantly appear.
I take a tentative step forward into the darkness. My foot shatters branches and tree droppings, then my foot sinks into a thick sludge unable to be drawn out.
How can I move forward, because one step has told me of the difficult time ahead. I can’t see the end, I don’t know how long I will be in there lost.
Maybe I should just wait at the edge and try to find a way around.
There comes a time to sell your soul, to fit in with the rest
become the robot that they want, from now until your death.
Leave that eccentric life behind, normal it will be
change your attitude in life, for everyone to see.
Sleep, eat, the daily grind, the 9 to 5 life,
be the model citizen, keep out of strife.
Sit at your desk, don’t get up, shhhh don’t dare speak,
once you were strong and independent, now you are just weak.
It’s nights like this, where every part of my heart, is blessed with the beautiful moonlight thoughts, but also a numbing ache.
All that I want, is to be next to you, holding you, watching you sleep, be the first thing you see, when your vivd dream comes.
A dream that no matter, how many times you have, ends in the same way, beautifully, of you and me being one.
But tonight, all I have, is a beer in my hand, these words in my head and no way of knowing, how to love you….
When it comes down to it, the only person you can rely on is yourself. No matter how many people you have close or how many people ‘care’, it is you and only you that can be trusted. Family and friends are only titles you give to unreliable people who will never understand you.
I have me and that’s all I need. When I wake up each morning, then the day is already great, I am alive. I make the decisions that change my life, the affect my mood, nothing or no one else matters.
The road is long and restless
In the hearts pursuit of love
Love comes to those unexpecting
It is through fate, not by thought
It comes to the rich and the poor
For it is truly free
It holds the highest value
For no amount of money can it be bought
We can learn the lessons of others
Who have been through the same
But love is true and natural
Something that can’t be taught.
I wish to be your blanket
Comforting you to sleep,
Filling your mind with beautiful dreams
The happiness you seek.
I wish to be the first you see
When you awake,
Staring into each other’s eye’s
A gaze that cannot break.
I wish my hands to feel
The softness of your skin,
To hold our bodies together as one
For your heart I did win.
I wish for all the moments in my life
You and I will share,
I want to prove my love for you
Show you that I care.
A rush of warmth
surrounds me…..
fuzziness appears
when I think…..
Happiness fills
My entire body
When I see you.
My mouth dries
When I try to speak…..
My hands shake
With nerves…..
Escalated is
my heart beat
When I’m….
Around you